Today I may have overdone it.

Swiftly my new world crashed.

I felt all was going well,

just as it used to be.

Now I feel unable to cope

the way I did before.

What is wrong?

Why am I no longer strong?

 

I want to keep up

but at my own pace.

They do not understand

how I feel, how the world

can crowd in on me.

Crushing, crushing,

the pressure overwhelms me

and I weep.

 

I long for the safety of I.C.U.

Warm in my womb of glass.

There I just floated,

did as I was bid, slept,

ate, dozed, existed.

Later I asked for freedom.

Now I am afraid.

 

Can I cope with the world?

Why do I feel so tense?

Will I ever be really well?

Is this pain real?

Stress, stress, even in

my beautiful garden

that I love so much.

 

Now a list of things

that must be done.

Must they be done today?

Must they be done now?

Must they be done by me?

Can no one else do them?

I don’t like to ask.

 

I will start again.

Try to do only

what I can today.

Acknowledge that healing

will take time.

I am not ready for

the full yoke yet.

 

But I will, in time,

do my fair share.

Not all right now

but at my own pace

and in my own

good time.

 

 

David Garlick, Victoria, March, 1996